Comment Policy

The things I’m writing about here are scary, vulnerable, close-to-the-heart things. They can be triggery for folks, myself included.

Please take a breath or two before you comment and ask yourself what you want to achieve with your comment. Are you expressing something positive? Furthering the discussion? Or are you upset and trying to draw other people into your upsetness?

This blog is kind of like my living room. I don’t have to let anybody say whatever they want in my living room. I can throw people out if they’re jerks. Free speech allows them to go back to their own living rooms and say whatever they want. It doesn’t allow them to stand in my living room and say whatever they want.

Comments will be pretty carefully moderated.

I’m going to try to let readers know the sorts of comments that are and aren’t welcome on most posts.

In general, here are some guidelines:


  • Things the post sparked for you, or ways you resonated with something I said.
  • Witnessing (basically, “I read this, thank you for sharing it with us.”).
  • Descriptive stuff (talking about how you feel about the post — politely!, or describing your own experiences).

Not welcome:

  • Advice (anything with the word “should” is probably not going to be okay).
  • Prescriptive stuff (laying down rules about How Things Are In The World, for example, or how things should be — there’s that “should” again).

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